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Disclaimer: I have tried to include the correct person who said these words of wisdom. If I have missquoted
anyone, please let me know. Also, I have no intention of infringing on any copywrited material. This is for the reader's enjoyment, and I am not trying to take credit for
anything quoted below. Please email me if there is a problem with any of the quotes I have included here. Thank you.
This page includes quotes from Ashleigh Brilliant. This is copywrited material from Ashleigh Brilliant, and has
been posted here with permission. Please see web site at:
The worst thing about a bore is not that he won't stop talking, but that he won't let you stop listening
--Unknown
If you are called the scum of the earth, don't feel bad. The scum always rises to the top.
--Phil Sutton
I still miss my ex-wife, but my aim is getting better.
--Unknown
The surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that it has never tried to contact us.
--Calvin and Hobbes (Bill Watterson)
FROM THE GENDER FILE:
Few women admit their age. Few men act theirs.
I try to take one day at a time, but sometimes several days attack me at once.
--Ashleigh Brilliant
My opinions may have changed, but not the fact that I am right.
--Ashleigh Brilliant
We've got what it takes to take what you've got!
--I.R.S.
What is the difference between a taxidermist and a tax collector? The
taxidermist takes only your skin.
--Mark Twain - 19
The other day I got out my can-opener and was opening a can of worms when I thought, "What am I doing?!
- Jack Handey, Deep Thoughts, Saturday Night Live
Very funny, Scotty. Now beam down my clothes.
Make it idiot proof and someone will make a better idiot.
--Unknown
I'm not a complete idiot, some parts are missing!
--Unknown
I don't suffer from insanity. I enjoy every minute of it.
--Unknown
You have a cough? Go home tonight, eat a whole box of Ex-Lax, tomorrow
you'll be afraid to cough.
--Pearl Williams
To err is human, but to really foul things up requires a computer.
--Farmers' Almanac, 1978
What is a committee? A group of the unwilling, picked from the unfit, to do the unnecessary.
--Richard Harkness, The New York Times, 1960
For fast-acting relief try slowing down.
--Lily Tomlin
You don't get ulcers from what you eat. You get them from what's eating
you.
--Vicki Baum
Marriage is like an army. Everybody complains, but you'd be surprised at how many reenlist.
-- The Fortune Cookie
I've gone to look for myself. If I return before I get back, keep me
here!
--Unknown
If you can't name it, scrape its off your pizza.
--Unknown
Love is blind. Marriage is an institution for the blind.
--Unknown
..and a friends response to that one: "I don't believe to be blind if I love, the truth is that I've opened my mind to the life!
--Luca Pietrangeli
(I know I said 'one of my favorites' but quotes are like potato chips-- you can't eschew just one.)"
-- Michel G.? (Thanks for sharing the quotes!)
Opinions are like belly buttons. Everyone has one but no one wants yours!
--Unknown
What is mind? No matter. What is matter? Never mind.
--Unknown
When in doubt, make a fool of yourself. There is a microscopically thin line between being brilliantly creative and acting like the most gigantic idiot on earth. So what the phooey, leap.
-- Unknown
If you want to sacrifice the admiration of many men for the criticism of one, go ahead, get married.
--Unknown
If you never want to see a man again, say "I love you, I want to have your children...They leave skid marks.
--Unknown
The trouble with some women is that they get all excited about nothing, and then they marry him.
--Cher
The brain is a wonderful organ. It starts working the moment you get up and doesn't stop until you get into the office.
--Unknown
Everything becomes better with practice, except getting up in the morning.
--Unknown (CATTREK AGREES!!!)
As you go through life,
Whatever be your goal,
Keep your eye on the doughnut,
Not the hole!" -- Unknown
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